Not all agreements between lovers end up badly. There are scores of people proud of investing in their relationships because the hard work made their union much stronger.
Research shows that investing in a relationship leads to positive results. According to findings published in Psychology Today magazine, when one partner invests time, energy, emotions and other resources into the relationship, the other partner tends to appreciate that person more and is subsequently more willing to stay in the relationship.
Even people who were unhappy with their relationships felt more committed to those relationships if they felt their partners were more invested. These findings prove that there are good chances of getting a positive result from a relationship by investing material resources into it. The dilemma lies in not knowing if the recipient of your generosity can be trusted.
“If you want to help somebody in any way, help out with a clean heart not expecting her to marry you,” Pastor Odipo says. “But it is unfair to take advantage of somebody’s resources to advance yourself if you don’t love that person.
The biggest challenge whenever one partner lives abroad is the physical distance. Being in a long-distance relationship is not easy, even for people already married to each other.
A long-distance relationship where the couple is not yet married is very difficult to sustain, as shown in a survey carried out in Denmark at the University of Copenhagen.
According to the survey, six out of 10 exchange students were in a relationship with someone in their home country when they landed in Copenhagen. Less than five per cent of those new arrivals considered having an affair while studying abroad.
A couple of months later, one in three new internationals already had a crush on someone other than their partner. Three months after arriving in Copenhagen, one in three international students had cheated on their partner at home.
COMEBACK BETRAYAL
It is not only the distance that makes it hard to maintain a relationship. The new ideas infused in a university lecture hall challenge students to think differently about themselves.
Life in a foreign land surrounded by an alien culture changes an individual’s perspective on things. The change in thinking affects their previous plans. The lack of contact with their lovers allows people in problematic relationships to critically reflect on their partners.
They may opt to end the relationships. Perhaps that’s what happened to Stella while studying in Japan. Life as a foreign student in a strange land simply changed her.
Margaret Musau, a religious counsellor in Nairobi, says true love survives all odds. “I don’t think if somebody loves you, they can leave you,” she says.
“Pray together, encourage each other and show [each other] love in difficult times because if you truly love each other, you will remain in love till the end. You have to be there for one another, whether things are good or bad.”
Then there’s also the rather common case where the lovers left at home betrayed those who went outside the country. You come back home to find your boyfriend married to your best friend, or your girlfriend pregnant with another man.
The betrayed lover painfully remembers all the sacrifices they made while living abroad, the money saved and sent back home, the temptations resisted while striving to remain faithful to a broken relationship.
Freshley Mwamburi’s song is a genuinely human story of expectations brought down to earth by reality. Changes in life circumstances transform the priorities of individuals, and they start to question their previous commitments.
Stella is not a villain in Mwamburi’s story. She is as much a victim as her ex-fiancé. The song is meant to caution couples against taking anything for granted.
It is a good thing Mwamburi turned the crushing saga into a song that’s made him famous across the world. Wherever she is, Stella must be enjoying her part in the limelight.
Edited by T Jalio
Source The star
